The End of Comedy as We Know It!
by Flavoredrocks
Summary: Rated T for blood, violence, language, mild sexual content, fluffy bunnies, and get ready for this one SCHEDULES! This may, or may not be the End of Comedy as We Know It!
1. Day 1: The Beginning!

* * *

If you can find anything crazier, you're reading something from a better author!

**The End of Comedy as We Know it!**

**Day one...**

**1. Theme song!**

Mikan woke up early that morning at about 12:00:01am. **(A/N: Just after midnight... Heh heh heh...)**

"Wow, time for the theme song already?" She asked herself.

Anyway, she got up, got her close up, and came time to zoom out, she was dressed in her school

clothes.

"Well, here we go," She took a deep breath and began singing,

"I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do

I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do,

I want to do a **theme song**!

I wanna do a theme song!

Shu-u-t up you say,

Well all I gotta say to you is

I just sai-aid no!

No no no no no... Hey, why'd you turn off the music?"

**(A/N to Mikan: It began to get retarded, we pretty much murdered a great song. So, to not screw everything up further, I turned it off.)**

"Here, we have a section for everyone," Hotaru said, "Every genre will have specific order in which

they will come."

"It looks like this:" Mikan said, pointing to the chart below.

**1. Theme song.**

**2. Romantic junk.**

**3. Adventure.**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

**6. Random crap.**

**7. Comedy.**

**8. More random crap.**

**9. An author check-up.**

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

**2. Romantic junk**

"Well, we did the theme song, all we have to do now is... Romantic junk," Ruka said, "Oh bunny, I

am holding in my arms, I hope you know I have the deepest and cheesiest feelings for you a 10

year old boy could have towards a mindless bunny!"

"Oooh! Awww! How sweet!" Everyone said, but then they started looking away when Ruka decided

to make out with the rabbit.

**3. Adventure**

"Now, Adventure." Natsume said. Then, he was kidnapped by... Piyo! And then taken to the secret

fortress in the north woods to the evil stepmother... Mikan!

"Hold on a a second! Why am _I _the evil stepmother?! Where the hell did you get all this? I demand

to be the prince that comes to save Natsume! Wait... That didn't come out right... I meant to say

prin-" Mikan said, but was interrupted by the Author's Notes.

**(A/N to Mikan: Fine, you're a princess! Congrats, now just go save his butt!)**

And then taken to the secret fortress in the north woods to the evil stepmother... Permy!

"Muahahahaha! Bubble bubble toil and trouble, cauldron brew and cauldron bubble, making

Natsume stew I am! Muahahaha!" Permy cackled. Just then, while Permy wasn't paying attention,

"SWISH!" Mikan sliced her head clean off with her Sword of Head Slicingy Stuff!

She took the tied up Natsume **(A/N: Since when was he tied up? Oh, forget it, he's tied up, **

**then.) **in her arms, and tried to kiss him... And then, "Boom!" they both exploded.

The end of that portion.

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone**

"I feel a little... Disturbed... By this portion..." Iinchou said.

"Get over it, wuss!" Hotaru said before she had her giant robot donkey come out and kick him in the

face. **(A/N: Hotaru wins the randomness award!) **Permy shrugged, looked at Mikan, who was still trying to kiss Natsume and said,

"You bitch! Why don't you stop trying to steal my frickin' boyfriend for two seconds and come fight

me?!" Mikan ran over with her sword, Permy turned into her dog/cat thing, and they both tried to

gauge each others eyes out. Mikan managed to successfully stick her sword into Permy's foot,

and Permy scratched a giant hole in Mikan's hand. The floor was covered in blood, when

suddenly, a pig with blond hair and blank eyes came out and rolled in the blood. A big chunk

of Mikan's flesh was lying on the ground, and by now, the blood had settled, so it was now a dark

red on the bottom.

Ruka, however, was completely oblivious to what was going on, because he was now sitting on the

floor naked with the bunny, and the rest I will not describe because it is too horrible to tell.

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

Do you gotta crap? Do you gotta crap bad? Do you not have the ability to crap right now? Well

then, you need _Uncle Super-Crapo's Super Crappy Laxident_! It rarely works, and when it does, you

have explosive diarrhea! But, most people are so stupid, they'll but it anyway, so why don't you be a

stupid person like everyone else and buy it? Come on! The idiots are waiiiitinnnng...

**(A/N: I do not support **_**Uncle Super-Crapo's Super Crappy Laxident**_** in any way!)**

**6. Random crap**

"Now, back to you, somehow all of a sudden 20 year old** (A/N: what some may think of as)**hot weather girl Mikan." I said.

"Umm... Today, we might have some light blood fall, then at around 10:00pm, there will

be a massive earthquake and kids in green suits with boomerangs will come out of the ground

and begin slaughtering everyone." Mikan said.

"And now to Ruka..." I said as the camera turned to him,

"Oh god! Bring the camera back over here! My eyes!! My eyes!! I have a message to everyone who

just missed that. Consider yourself really damned lucky... Bastards..."

"Thank you for watching the _Random Crap News at 12:09am_" I concluded.

**7. Comedy**

"And now for... _The Crappiest act ever with Tsubasa Ando and Misaki Harada!_" I announced.

"Hey, wait! Why does his name get to be first?! This sucks, I quit." Misaki yelled

"W- w- wait! She made a mistake! Your name _does_come first! I swear!" Tsubasa yelled after her.

"Really? Okay, maybe I'll forgive you. Just this once. _Just_this once! Heh! (eye twitch) I _have_ to be

first! _Have _to! Heh... (eye twitch)" Misaki said.

Okay, now lets have the guys in white suits with the big, sharp needles take it from here!

**(A/N: Yeah... If I knew she had that problem before, trust me, she wouldn't even be on here.**

**I'll keep her anyway! After all, don't people love to see psycho-maniac do psycho-maniac stuff? Right?)**

* * *

**8. More random crap**

"You might be a Ruka if... You made love to a bunny!"

"You might be a Ruka if... You fell in love with your best friend!"

"You might be a Ruka if... You think this is supposed to be about rednecks!"

"You might be a Ruka if... You are currently reading this!"

"You might be a Ruka if... You're name is Ruka!"

"You might be a Ruka if... You ran out of things to type when you were supposed to be typing

'You might be a Ruka if...' stuff. Or maybe that makes you the author? Can you help me on this?

Dammit, my sister won't either."

**9. An author check-up**

**(A/N: There will be no Authors Notes in this section at all. Not even this one.)**

"How _aaare _you, Michiko?" Asked Mikan.

"Fine, so... Can I type now?" I asked her back.

"Okay, just pretend I'm not here... I wanna do a theme song! Dun dun dundun dun!" Mikan sang.

"I told you not to turn the music back on! That's it, out! You're grounded." I told her.

"Can I at least do the ending theme song... Pweeeese?" She continued to pester me for the next five minutes, I'll shorten it to spare you time, anyway, then I finally said...

"Okay! you're ungrounded, just, just get out!" I yelled. -.-

"Sheesh, you didn't have to be so mean about it!" She stormed out of the room.

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

And by now, the "Spinster (Aunt) Dance" **(A/N: That was originally going to be "I wanna do a theme song", but I decided it made a better theme song.)**

was playing, everyone was wearing Tutu's and doing the swan lake. (**A/N: **_**If**_** I even know how the Swan Lake goes!)**

Do de de da de da do do, de da diddit do, dedede oah dedah dedah dih do,

All right everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the random dance,

Just hit yourself on the head and rub your belly, c'mon everybody it's the Spinster (Aunt) Dance!

**The end...**

For today, at least...

Writer:

Michiko

My Entertainment while I was writing this:

MikanNatsume4Evr

The Pig:

A Pig with blond hair and blank eyes named Mr. Piggy.

**(A/N:Songs may or may not be knock off, I am not saying I wrote the originals, I just tweaked the lyrics.)**

_Spinster (Aunt) Dance:_

Michiko

_I Wanna Do a Theme Song:_

Michiko

The Activities List:

Hotaru

Disclaimer for this written by:

Michiko. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the disclaimer!

**I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT IF I DID IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS!**


	2. Day 2: The Madness Continues!

**If you can find anything crazier, you're reading something from a better author!**

**The End of Comedy as We Know it!**

**Day two...**

**1. Theme song!**

"Okay, on the count of three, one... two... **THREE! WAKE UP MIKAAAAN!**" Everyone shouted.

Mikan remained asleep. Hotaru put a horn to her ear. Nothing. Ruka had an elephant sit on her.

Nada. Natsume tried burning her foot off. Still nothing. Permy scratched the crap outta her. She

remained asleep.

Hotaru's watch beeped.

"Yaawwwwnn... Hey, what is everyone doing in my room?" Mikan asked.

"You're about an hour late for the theme song, ugly." Natsume told her.

"Oh yeah! I forgot, today is my annual sleep-in day, so I'm not usually used to anything going on

right about now." Mikan said. She then held her blanket in front of her and when she dropped, it she

was dressed.

"Lets do something different, now," Mikan said, "Like a new theme song!"

"SLAP!" hotaru slapped her right across the face.

"You idiot, we aren't allowed to change anything," Hotaru said in her usual calm tone of voice, "Just

do the stupid theme song already."

"Fine, fine.

I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do

I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do,

I want to do a theme song!

I wanna do a theme song!

Shu-u-t up you say,

Well all I gotta say to you is

I just sai-aid no!

No no no no no

Tell me not to do a theme song,

Well all I gotta say to you When you tell me not to sing a theme song I say no!

No no no no no!"

"Okay, now that the theme song is done, we can get on to the activities list, for all those who

weren't here last time." Hotaru points to the list below.

**1. Theme song.**

**2. Romantic junk.**

**3. Adventure.**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

**6. Random crap.**

**7. Comedy.**

**8. More random crap.**

**9. An author check-up.**

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

"You know the drill," Hotaru said, "Now bring up the big bold font that says where we are now."

**2. Romantic junk**

_Where am I? _Mikan thought_. I... I can't move! I can't even open my eyes!_

_Where the heck am I?! Wait, I get it, I must be _Sleeping Beauty._ Well, I guess_

_I'll just have to wait for my prince... Do do do do do... I hope he's Natsume... He is_

_soooo cute... Hey wait, what am I holding in my hands? A flower? I feel part of a thorn..._

_A rose! Oh, that makes it all the more romantic! Wait... What's happening?! I'm running_

_out of air! Help! Heeelp! _She screamed in her head, but it couldn't come oput of her mouth.

Nothing could. _Wait, what princess what trapped inside a whatever where she couldn't breathe..._

_Snow White! She died, didn't she? No wait... Think! Time is running out! Dwarves are about to bury _

_her... Prince comes along to give a last kiss... And then I cough up a chunk of apple! Of course!_

_I'm fine, then, I'm just in a box unable to breathe... Any second now, Natsume... I can hear the_

_dwarves... Wait, galloping! I hear another voice! It's Natsu- Wha? He sounds way too young!_

She heard the coffin open up, and a kiss on her lips and then she opened her eyes to see her

prince.. But not before coughing up an apple...

"Y- You-Chan!" Mika began spitting everywhere, "Eww! I kissed a three-year-old?!

Blech!"She continued to spit.

And they all lived... And hopefully not normally ever after...

Except Mikan was forever traumatized with having kissed You-Chan.

* * *

**3. Adventure.**

**(A/N: Erm... Lets see... I'm beginning to run out of classic fairy tales. But, since I mentioned**

_**Sleeping Beauty**_**, why not use it?)**

"Sirette Sumire," The Great Queen Yuri said, "I have chosen you, my best Knight,

and my only female knight, to go and find the great sleeping beauty, and bring him

back here, so I can become even more rich and famous. And maybe I'll let you marry him..."

"Y- yes, oh beautiful pretty sophisticated wonderful Queen Yuri!" Is was hard for her not to

faint, Sumire could hardly stand Yuri's female pheromone Alice.

Sumire had to be transported out of the room because Yuri feared she might be all over her.

"Hey, Sumire!" Mikan yelled after her, "I heard you got the ultimate task... Bringing back the

sleeping beauty..."

"Yea, I heard he's been asleep for 100 years, and was put to sleep by some angry kid

with the alice to make people fall asleep for however long he wants. Too bad he's probably

died of old age by now..." Sumire said.

"Well, I packed you a bag of supplies." Mikan held up a backpack about the size of the

computer I'm writing this on. **(A/N: That would be an average sized computer, thank you very **

**much!) **Sumire said thank you, and goodbye and all that junk, and went on her way.

Anyway, she walked many miles, and the trip to and back **(A/N: This happens later...)**

took about four days. When she got there, she extended her claws and cut through the bushes

and junk that had grown over there the past hundred years. The ability to make people

fall asleep must've been applied to certain areas, because Sumire nearly fell asleep before she

came to the courtyard. Luckily, Mikan secretly lent her her nullification Alice,

so Sumire was almost completely immune to it... Almost.

She stepped into an old seemingly abandoned courtyard, just then, a boy stepped out.

"Leave now, or else i'll have to kill you..." He said.

"Now why the hell would I do that, I came here to save the prince, not leave!" Sumire shouted.

"Fine then, if uou want a fight, I'll let you have one, then." He said to her.

It was not at all a very interesting battle, Sumire pretty much pushed Natsume out of the courtyard

and he instantly fell asleep. Apparently, the courtyard was the only place where the sleeping

barrier was not placed, and Natsume was a guardian sent by the one evil lady...

"Finally, I'm here! Sleeping beauty's room!" Sumire exclaimed.

She saw the young prince, bent over, and kissed him.

"Hi! I'm Koko! He shouted in Sumire's ear.

"Ohh my ear..." Sumire said. "You know what, I'll be right back, I forgot something,

stay right here..." She then took the two day trip all the way back,

an explained to the Great Queen Yuri that everybody was dead when she got there.

**THE END!**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone**

**This part is not recommended for the easily queased.**

Natsume, mad at the fact that Permy **(A/N: I'm gonna call her Permy again, it's just more **

**fun.) **won in the last story, caught her hair on fire.

"Put it OUT! AAAH! HELP!" She screamed. When she finally whacked it out, she

began scratching the crap out of Natsume. Koko and Yuri got in an argument about

how he should have come back on his own and she should have sent knight and blah blah blah...

Since neither of their Alices really worked in physical fights, so they just slapped each other back

and forth.

Hotaru wanted to get in on some action, so she pulled out her Baka gun and started shooting

Mikan. Yet again, the pig showed up, who owns this pig, you ask? The pig does. He owns himself,

a lone traveler, wallowing in people's blood... He was still brown, however from the previous day,

because the blood had dried. If you were to look over at Natsume and Permy, you would see that

Natsume burned all of Permy's hair off, and her bald head was now on fire, but she was too busy

trying to scratch out his eyes, and she nearly succeeded, because Natsume's eye was now

bleeding. If you were to look over at Koko and Yuri, you would see that both of their faces has

turned purple because they were slapping each other so much, and their hands weren't doing much

better, because they all had a blood red bruise on them from slapping so hard.

If you were to look over at Hotaru and Mikan, Hotaru had used her Baka Gun to punch a massive

bloody hole in Mikan's gut, which was oozing blood, luckily, her stomach only has a small hole in

it. Which was oozing _only_ a gallon or so of blood per second.

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

Hey, you look hungry, but not that hungry. You look not sick. You know what'll semi-fill you and

make you throw up? McGreasy's! The food is so greasy, and so repulsive, we had to bribe the

health inspector with everything we had just to keep it in business! So, come for the grease, stay

for the food poisoning!

**(A/N: I do not support McGreasy's in any way!)**

* * *

**6. Random crap**

**(A/N: Instead of yoga this commercial, everybody spent their time recovering miraculously. Just thought you should know that absoloutely useless peice of information.)**

"Bunny! Bunnnnny!" Ruka called.

"I'm not sure that bunny would ever want to coe back after what happened yesterday..." Natsume

said.

"Of course he would... He's meh bunneh..." Ruka said doubtfully, "Hey, there he is!"

The bunny stared into Ruka's eyes, and Ruka stared back, smiling. Then the bunny made a

dash for the rabbit hole. Ruka caught him just in time. The bunny tried to wiggle out of Ruka's

arms, and even trying to bite him before saying, "SQUEAAAK! SQUACK SQUEAK! huff puff...

SQEAKEDY!" which, translated means, "HEEELP! HELP ME! huff puff... GET ME AWAY FROM

THIS FREAK!"

"Aww, he's saying he wuvesss meh!" Ruka cooed.

"Sure he is..." Neatsume glared at Ruka.

**7. Comedy**

**(A/N: This is mostly bad jokes, maybe on you like here and then, but... Most of them are **

_**reeealy**_** bad!)**

You-Chan: "What's brown and sticky?"

Koko: "A stick!"

You-Chan: "Why wasn't the cow dancing at the party?"

**(A/N: What party? Why the hell wasn't I invited?!)**

Koko: "Because there was no _MOO_-sic!"

**(A/N: I wouldn't want to go to that party anyway then, it probably sucked.)**

You-Chan: "What am I thinking of right now?"

Koko: "Koko is a moron! Oh... Crap..."

You-chan: "What is Mikan thinking of right now?"

Koko: "Wow, Natsume sure is cute! Maybe someday I can _marry_ him!

And we could be together forever! And we could... Oh shit! Koko's reading my mind!

Don't think don't think don't think! I'm in love with Natsume! Oh... Crap... He didn't hear that,

did he? Fine, I don't care what the world thinks! I love Natsume and Ruka! Ha! Take that!

And what would I like to do to Natsume, you ask? Well..." Koko got a horrified expression on his

face and then fainted.

**8. More random crap**

**Who will be the next... Gakuen Idol?!**

"Somewhere, over the clou-oud, way up high, lollipops are illegal... In the sk-y-y!" Ruka sang

right from his heart, which, actually, wasn't all that good.

**(A/N: Mikan, what did you think?)**

"I loved it! Gimme an A! Gimme an WESOME! What does that spell? AWESOME!

**(A/N: Permy, what did **_**you**_** think?)**

"Yo, dawg, dat was tight! Dat was tight!

**(A/N: And last, but certainly not least, Natsume! What did you think?)**

"Listen, I'll say this the harshest way possible... That was the shittiest act I have ever heard, my

eardrums are bleeding right now. Go find yourself a job at a fast food place like McGreasy's, man..

No, boy-bitch."

* * *

**9. An author check-up**

Mikan knocked on the door... "Michiko, you in there?"

"Leave me alone, for pete's sake! Let's just skip it today!!" A voice from behiond the door said.

"Okay!" and Mikan skipped merrily to the area where they would conclude the chapter.

* * *

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

And by now, the "Spinster (Aunt) Dance" was playing, everyone was wearing Tutu's and doing the swan lake. (**A/N: Seriously, how **_**does**_** Swan Lake go?!)**

Do de de da de da do do, de da diddit do, dedede oah dedah dedah dih do,

All right everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the random dance,

Just hit yourself on the head and rub your belly, c'mon everybody it's the Spinster (Aunt) Dance!

* * *

**The end...**

For today, at least...

Writer:

Michiko

My Entertainment while I was writing this:

None whatsoever for today.

The Pig:

A Pig with blond hair and blank eyes named Mr. Piggy.

**(A/N:Songs may or may not be knock off, I am not saying I wrote the originals, I just tweaked the lyrics.)**

_Spinster (Aunt) Dance:_

Michiko

_I Wanna Do a Theme Song:_

Michiko

The Activities List:

Hotaru

I would like to thank all of the people on the Xat Freewebs chat for inspiring me to make part 8 a

knock-off of everyone's favorite show!

Disclaimer for this written by:

Michiko. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the disclaimer!

**I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT IF I DID IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS!**

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *


	3. Day 3: Pig Goes Missing! Or not

**If you can find anything crazier, you're reading something from a better author!**

**The End of Comedy as We Know it!**

**Day three...**

**1. Theme song!**

"BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!" Mikan's alarm rang.

"Yaawn! Mikan picked up a glass that she guessed was water.

And now for the spit take...

Mikan spit it out saying, "This is milk! Why the hell did I drink milk before bed last night?!

Oh no! I forgot, I'm lactose intolerant!" She then rushed to the bathroom.

When she came out, she was fully clothed.

"I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do

I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do,

I want to do a **theme song!**

I wanna do a theme song!

Shu-u-t up you say,

Well all I gotta say to you is

I just sai-aid no!

No no no no no

Tell me not to do a theme song,

Well all I gotta say to you When you tell me not to sing a theme song I say no!

No no no no no!" She sang.

"And now for the list..." Hotaru said.

"Hotaru? Where did you come from? You weren't in here a second ago!" Mikan exclaimed.

"Yes, but people appear at random all the time in stories and tv shows." Hotaru explained.

Mikan looked puzzled. She didn't quite understand that fiction doesn't have to make sense.

She also didn't understand that psycic powers called "Alices" weren't very realistic either.

"Anyway," Hotaru continued, "Time for the list. We are just gonna do it every chapter now because

there's no point in taking it away." And she was right, you wouldn't want to have to go back a

chapter or so just to see a list, would you? Didn't think so.

"The list is right down there!" Mikan shouted gleefully.

"BAKA! BAKA!" Hotaru shot Mikan with her infamous Baka gun.

"That is my job, dummy. The list is down below, please look at it, or else I'll shoot

you with the Baka gun too. And don't think I won't do it."

**(A/N: I' do it if I were you, you hopefully read how brutal she was with that thing last **

**chapter!)**

**1. Theme song.**

**2. Romantic junk.**

**3. Adventure.**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

**6. Random crap.**

**7. Comedy.**

**8. More random crap.**

**9. An author check-up.**

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

**2. Romantic Junk**

"Hey, where's Ruka with the bunny? This part is supposed to be about them!" Mikan said.

"I'm over here!" Ruka shouted, Piyo following behind him.

"Where's your cute little bunny rabbit?" Mikan asked.

"Oh, I'm over him. I like Piyo now." He looked into Piyo's eyes, and Piyo stared back.

"Oh, Piyo!" Ruka said, then he started hugging and kissing Piyo.

"Piyoooooo!" Piyo shouted, which translated, means, "Ruka, you're my best friend!"

Piyo never really thought of themselves as anything more than friends, but nobody here

had the Alice of talking to animals or whatever, so they didn't know what Piyo said.

But, Ruka, being lost in 'love', htought Piyo had said 'I love you, Ruka!' Se he was pretty clueless.

"Oookay then..." Mikan said as she was walking away.

**3. Adventure**

"Whoosh! Whoosh!" Narumi was swinging on the vines in the forest...

"Whee!! Whee!!" He screamed as he was going from vine to vine.

_This is fun! Wait, how did I get here?! _He thought, _Oh well, this is fun!_

Then he spied a girl with brown hair walking around the forest. He swooped down on a

really long vine and picked her up.

"Help! Help! An ape!" She looked at him, wearing pink pieces of cloth with torn frills.

"I'm being kidnapped by a gay child molester! HELP!" she continued to scream.

_Wait, I'm not gay!_ he thought.

He laid her down on a branch and sat in front of her. She then realized he wasn't going to hurt

her, so she said, "Hi, I'm Mikan, whats your name?"

"Me Tardhead, you Mikan." He said. _Why am I talking funny? I must be losing control of my_

_entire body, I didn't want to swing on vines, I didn't want to pick her up, and I certainly didn't_

_want to call my self a Tardhead!_

Mikan giggled, "You're Tardhead, huh? Where the hell did you get _that_ shitty name?" She asked.

"Mother ape calls me Tardhead." he replied. Mikan stared at hi with a blank expression.

Just then, he was captured in a net. Mikan watched as he was dragged away screaming.

"How the hell am I supposed to get out of this tree and back to camp?" She asked herself,

"I'm gonna be late for lunch..."

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone**

Suddenly, everyone got really mad. Permy got mad at Mikan because Mikan was in all of the

sections, and so far, Permy was in none. So they were pretty much rolling up in one of those

cartoony dust cloud fights, minus the dust. Hotaru fixed that by throwing in some flour.

Somebody's ear got thrown outward, **(A/N: Probably Mikan's, because Permy is in her dog/cat **

**form.) **just then, Ban Dough came along and took the ear. When Piyo realized what Ruka's actual

intentions were, he**(A/N: I think Piyo is a he... O.o) **stepped on Ruka, and smushed him like a

pancake. Hotaru and Natsume really had nothing against each other like they usually did, because

they both knew it would be a tie and a complete waste of their time. Then a giant pizza fell out of the

air and smushed everybody except Piyo **(A/N: But I got smushed by the pizza to... Heh heh **

**heh...)** so they all had to eat their way out, including me. And then they all got full and slept

through their yoga time.

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

Is there and elephant in your closet? Are you wondering why I'm asking these questions?

Are you? Are you? Are you tired of having a pickle in your cupboard? Do yoou like cheese?

Do you think it would be fun to have to eat your way out of a giant pizza? And last question:

Have you tried the ultimate disturbingly random question generator? You can usually find it in

the pickle aisle at Mel Mart. So why not but one today?!

**(A/N: I do not in any way support ultimate disturbingly random question generator!)**

**6. Random crap**

"What's going on here?" Natsume asked.

Everybody had their eyes on Permy, who was sitting in a chair doing nothing.

"Permy decided to become emo." Ruka whispered.

Natsunme walked up to Permy.

"Stop making a fool of yourself, Permy. You're not emo." Natsume told her.

"Y- you mean you don't like me emo?! And I worked so hard on the outfit, too! Time for

plan B: Clowns!" Permy ran over to the dressing rooms. A minute later she came out

dressed like a clown.

"Do you like it Natsume? Natsume?" Permy asked Natsume. He stood frozen with a blank

expression on his face. Then he ran away screaming.

"HELP! A CLOWN! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted.

"Haha! Natsume is afraid of clowns!" Mikan shouted.

"Weird..." Hotaru mumbled.

**7. Comedy**

**(A/N: I would have a You-Chan/Koko thing again today, but Koko is still recovering from **

**yesterday... O.o)**

"Ahem" Mikan said as she was standing on stage with everyone in the audience. Nobody payed

any attention to her, however.

"AHEM!" Mikan accidentlly inhaled some spit and began choking. Luckily, this time, everybody

actually paid attention to her.

"I'm okay, I'm okay. I just wanted to say I have completely reinvented myself." She stated.

"How so?" Hotaru asked.

"I changed one thing in everything that makes me who I am. Especially my looks!" She said,

"I changed ponytail holders." She pointed to her hair.

"Have you made yourself any smarter?" Natsume asked.

"Yes," replied Mikan, "I learned that... If I chew gum you get smarter... Or your memory gets

better... Or something like that... I can't remember." She stuck out her tongue, and on it, a large

mangled piece of gum. Hotaru held up a dry erase board with a math problem on it.

"Can you figure this out?" She asked. Mikan stared at it and found the answer she would give.

"I don't know." She simply stated.

"Hmm.. You didn't change at all, you didn't get smarter either. We learned this last week."

Mikan glared at her and said, "Okay, forget it, just go on to the next section, then!"

"This was supposed to be comedy," Hotaru began, "You just wasted the time we should have

been usuing for comedy, why didn't you do this during '8. More Random Crap'. Thanks for wasting

our time."

"Oops..." Mikan said.

**8. More Random Crap**

"Whats the matter, Mikan?" Ruka asked.

"I can't help... But feel that something is missing..." She replied.

Just then, the pig came up, bit everyone, and rubbed itself against their blood.

"Hey, that feeling just went away! I'm all better now.

**(A/N: Sorry for that short section, I kind of got a bit of Artist's Block... Luckily I realized I missed the pig during Section 4...)**

**9. An author check-Up**

"Michiko, you have to let me in sooner or later, you promised yesterday I could come in today!"

Mikan said, knocking on the door.

"Just ask the damned questions and get out." I told her.

"How are you? What are you typing? Are you almost done? What's going on tomorrow?" She

asked.

"Fine. Everything you're saying. Yes. I don't know yet. There, you happy?" I asked her.

"Yup" She answered, "I'm gonna go conclude the chapter now!" She said as she walked away

merrily.

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

And by now, the "Spinster (Aunt) Dance" was playing, everyone was wearing Tutu's and doing the

swan lake. **(A/N: I give up asking how it goes...)**

Do de de da de da do do, de da diddit do, dedede oah dedah dedah dih do,

All right everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the random dance,

Just hit yourself on the head and rub your belly, c'mon everybody it's the Spinster (Aunt) Dance!

* * *

**The end...**

For today, at least...

Writer:

Michiko

My Entertainment while I was writing this/ Distraction:

MikanNatsume4Evr

The Pig:

A Pig with blond hair and blank eyes named Mr. Piggy.

**(A/N:Songs may or may not be knock-offs, I am not saying I wrote the originals, I just tweaked the lyrics.)**

_Spinster (Aunt) Dance:_

Michiko

_I Wanna Do a Theme Song:_

Michiko

The Activities List:

Hotaru

Disclaimer for this written by:

Michiko. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the disclaimer!

**I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT IF I DID IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS!**


	4. Day 4: And Hotaru was all like,

**If you can find anything crazier, you're reading something from a better author!**

**The End of Comedy as We Know it!**

**Day four...**

**1. Theme song!**

Mikan got up out of bed that morning to find that she was already dressed.

"Quit trying to make this go by faster! It's not wor-" Mikan then shut up and checked the calendar.

"It's almost Christmas! Ya-" Mikan, then again shut up.

"Mikan, let's do a special version fo the theme song," Author said.

Then Mikan did the holiday theme song.

"I wanna do a holiday theme song! Song! Ring ririring ring, ring riring ring,

I wanna do a holiday theme song! Song! Ring ririring ring, ring riring ring,

I want to do a **holiday** **theme song!**

I wanna do a holiday theme song!

Shu-u-t up you say,

Well all I gotta say to you is

Jingle be-lls!

Ring ring ring ring ring!

Tell me not to do a holiday theme song,

Well all I gotta say to you when you tell me not to sing a holiday theme song I say RING!

Ring ring ring ring ring!" She sang in a very cheery tone.

"Okay-" Author started, but was interrupted by Mikan.

"Author, it's not even Christmas yet, in fact, that's a long way away, why did the calendar say it was almost Christmas?"

"Because I forgot to change to calendar. Anyway, LIST!"

A giant list then fell out of the sky and landed on Mikan's head. She lifted it above her head and put it

on the ground just as Hotaru walked in. She got out a big stick and pointed it at the list.

**1. Theme song.**

**2. Romantic junk.**

**3. Adventure.**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

**6. Random crap.**

**7. Comedy.**

**8. More random crap.**

**9. An author check-up.**

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

"I feel like we should probably have some dialogue here, so I'm just talking to take up some space because, otherwise, it'd just look completely empty. And that's no fun, right? So here I am, just talk talk talking, you know, just so that this little space here won't be so lonely. But you know what? This space will just have to DEAL because I am done NOW," Mikan said.

And then Hotaru was like, "Shut uuuup."

**2. Romantic Junk**

Natsume was sitting under the perty perty cherry blossoms, when Mikan walked by. Of course, being the smart girl that she is, she didn't notice a thing.

"Ahem..." Natsume cleared his throat.

Mikan continued to walk by...

"Ahe- oh crap!" Natsume said as he began to choke on his own spit.

"Natsume!" Mikan cried.

But her weak cries did nothing good for Natsume...

"I've got it! I have to use mouth-to-mouth re-"

"Ch-choking!"

"Oh yeah. Sorry."

Mikan then used mouth-to-mouth on Natsume. He sat and and cleared his throat.

"Um... Oh yeah, I just did that to kiss you, you know... Oh wait, that's not helping the audience believe that I don't like you. I mean- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"Forget the whole 'I'm-trying-not-to-make-it-obvious-I-like-you-by-being-a-complete-jerk' stuff, I'm outta here."

And Mikan left the poor, confuzzled Natsume, sitting in a blank, empty space because I completely forgot about the background and everything.

Anyway, it'll help you to know that they grew up, got married, did a bunch of stuff, then had 100,000,000 kids and blah blah blah...

**3. Adventure**

Hotaru couldn't sleep. She was tossing and turning all night long, and reading wasn't satisfying her. She needed (insert part title here)! So, she hopped out of her window and landed in some random plane with no driver or passenger that came out of nowhere.

And then Hotaru was like, "(Insert random catch phrase here)!"

Then, suddenly, (insert name here) landed in the plane as she was flying past (his/her) house.

"Wow, the author is totally uncreative with the 'insert stuff here' stuff, right (insert name here)?" Hotaru inquired, then continued to say, "Also, nice use of the word 'inquired', you really just wanted to use that word so badly, huh? Sigh... I'm through with this. I'm going back to bed." Hotaru then proceeded to jump out of the plane, and miraculously didn't break her legs being (insert number here) feet from the ground. She then walked all the way back to her house and went back to sleep.

(Insert name here) got bored too, and went home. But Mikan came up out of nowhere and did stuff! Because, you know, she's the main character and she always does stuff, in like, psh, every episode, or in this case, chapter...psh.

What stuff did she do?

Like... flew... and... psh... stuff. She also fought dead guys. And pirates. And pirate dead guys. Then she took over the world... of pirate dead guys... with nothing but jellybeans! And her catchphrase was...

"Jumpin' avocados!"

And so on... Yawn. Author is tired.

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone**

Anyway, the author was asleep during all of this, which is strange because everybody was in the very room she was sleeping in. I guess that it must've been a big room. The size of the room will not be specified here because authorislazy.

So, Natsume and Ruka were having an awesome fencing battle to the death over Mikan! Hotaru was chasing a running Mikan with a baka gun, and other such stuff was happening!

Ruka tripped Natsume in this awesome move, but Natsume pulled a dodge-roll on him and stabbed him in the gut. Because Natsume always wins. He's the main character's love interest! Anyway, Natsume won, Mikan lost Hotaru in the woods, and managed to escape into the arms of Natsume. Ruka stumbled into the woods where Hotaru shot him with a baka gun. He died right there on the spot in a very dramatic death. When he was done, Hotaru was all like, "Drama queen."

"Yawn... zzzzz zzzzz..."the Author snored. Though, she had no idea that she snored, or that she made z's come out of her mouth in the form of a bubble. Eeew.

Suddenly the author woke up and proclaimed, "I have now slept about 7 hours! I am AWAKE!" then went off to fight in a battle for the greater good.

Hey, wait! Author has just realized, this could have been perfect for the action portion! Hmm... Author thinks, "Well, you can never have enough action, it deserves TWO portions!"

"Quit talking to yourself in third person already, it's getting lame," Mikan said.

"I don't feel like talking about Author in first person, I will talk about Author however I feel like" Author said.

Anyway, Author is bored now. Next portion!

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

Play Sowrds! That's right, Play S-O-W-R-D-S! You know you want one! These Play Sowrds are made from 1% REAL METAL! Just for color, though, the rest is fake metal, but Play Sowrds still cut! They hurt! And damn it, there's no handle on this thing! And yes, I _DID _just say that all while smiling! Because it's what I do! I don't even need quotation marks! I'm gonna go speak to my manager now...

(Off in the distance) DAMN YOU, GIMME QUOTATION MARKS! I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR YOU FOR LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DESERVE THEM!

"And now we go back to the show, sorry..." said a person behind the camera.

**(A/N: I do not support **_**Play Sowrds**_** in any way!)**

Don't you dare start that before I get my quotation marks! Damn you all! I deserve it!

Then Hotaru was all like, not in this scene.

Then the scene was all like, "wtf, im outta heer. bbl luzurs. mayb. I mite not just cuz I fell liek it."

**6. Random crap.**

Hotaru was all like, "Yoga is not fun."

Then Mikan said, "It hurts. I'm not that flexible."

The camera zooms out and you can see that Mikan and Hotaru are tied up in their own arms and legs.

Ouch. If I cared, I would have thought that would hurt.

"Hey, Author, why are you talking without quotation marks?" Mikan asked.

b-CUZ I'm too AWSUM for them.

"Awesome my-" Mikan started.

But then Hotaru was all like, "JUMPIN' AVACADOS!!!!1111!!!1!!!"

"Wow, this really is random crap," Author stated.

"Oh, so NOW you use quotation marks?"

"I can whenever I want. You will now accept it because that is how I wrote you," Author AWSUMly said.

"I think that's a load of crap. I have MY opinion, just because you wrote me like that doesn't mean that you can completely control me. I'm my own person, and I think that you should just buzz off and let _me _run the show. Everyone knows I'd be, like, so, like, better at, like, it. Cut that out! ...like.... No, seriously! CUT THAT OUT!"

End of portion!

**7. Comedy**

Mikan walked on stage and Unawsumly stated, "Hey, I'm not done with you!"

The audience laughs, "UHEHEHEHEHE!!!HE...HE..."

"You stole our act!" Tsubasa cried.

"Where's that other girl who's usually with you? I forgot her name..." Mikan inquired before exclaiming, "Quit with the words, sheesh."

"I don't know where she went. I forgot her name too, to tell you the truth, she disappeared right after we last showed."

"JUMPIN' AVACADOS!" exclaimed Hotaru, who came from a trashcan. You could tell because she is all stanky. And she has trash stuff on her. Ew.

Then Hotaru was all like, doing stuff. And I totally just faked you out by making you think she was going to say stuff!

Then Hotaru was like, "MEGA LULZ."

Then the audience laughed again, like so, "MEGA MEGA MEGA LULZORZ! AHAHAHA."

"What are we supposed to do now?" Mikan asked.

"I have now figured out my life's dream..." Hotaru said.

"What is it?" Misaki asked.

"To become greater than cheese," Hotaru stated.

"Psh, NEVUR! You suck. I'm out of here." Misaki said. And she was right, too, because cheese is teh bestest.

Then everybody all said simultaneously, "OMGWTFBBQ! MISAKI?! WER DI SHE COM FRUM?!?!?"

"Wait, hold on, I thought your life dream was to make a robot exactly like me, Hotaru!" Mikan then burst into tears while saying, "Hota-chan doesn't love me anymore! I wanted an exact duplicate! Screw you, I don't need you! Just leave me alone! It's fine by me if you don't care!"

**8. More random crap.**

"And welcome back to the _Random Crap News whenever you read this!_ Let's have 20yrold Mikan take it away form here with her rant of ranty rantiness," I told my nonexistent audience.

"I hate news! I hate phrases about news, I hate newsPAPERS! I think that you should stop reading this portion right now, because news, it sucks."

"Uh, you mean, news is AWSUM?"

"No!"

Just then, the men in white coats came to take Mikan away.

"Um... Now we have the 120 second news with Natsume..." Author said.

"DEEPBREATH... Mikan sings the holiday version of the theme song then the list comes up and Mikan talks just for space I start to choke but Mikan saves me but I pretend to be rude like I don't care at all just to hide my feelings even though it's completely obvious and then we got married and had a million kids or so Hotaru went in a plane with a nonexistent character and such but she got bored and went to bed then Mikan came and did stuff like take over the world and a bunch of dead pirate guys and she said Jumpin' Avocados all the time because psh she's like the main character duh Ruka and I got in a fight over Mikan to the death Hotaru was after Mikan with a baka gun I defeated Ruka bcuz I always have to Hotaru got lost in the woods and Hotaru shot Ruka and he died a very dramatic death Author who was sleeping got a couple hours sleep and woke up to save the world Mikan thinks Author talking to herself in third person is lame Author got bored then there was commercial break while we all did yoga and the commercial was about something called Play Sowrds but they really suck and the dude got mad so he went to tell people off and stuff Hotaru and Mikan were tied up in themselves (literally) and Author talks without quotation marks Mikan was about to retort something bad and Hotaru was all like JUMPIN AVOCADOS and Author started using quotation marks and Mikan started ranting but she kept saying like a lot so I had no idea what it was about Mikan was on stage and Tsubasa started accusing her of stealing his and Misaki's act but nobody could remember Misaki's name and Hotaru kept using leet speak Hotaru's life dream is to be better than cheese and Misaki pops up and everyone is like OMGWTFBBQ and such then Mikan became jealous because Hotaru's life dream is no longer to make a robot exactly like her but now it's about cheese then at the news Author introduced Mikan and Mikan ranted about the news then she got taken to the funny farm and then I was introduced, then I said-"

"Okay, thanks Natsume! Now we're done, see ya!" Author smiled and waved.

**9. An author check-up.**

Mikan crept into the door between anime and reality, where she saw Author busily typing up their adventures of randomness on the computer.

"How are you?" Mikan asked.

Author turned around and said, "I am doing fine, now, watch out for the alligator that just popped in behind you."

"Ah!" Mikan turned around and kicked the alligator in the face and it ran back to the plane of existence where everything is a swamp.

"How did you know that was going to be there?!" Mikan asked.

"bcuz i rote it," Author said AWSUMly. Again.

"I have an idea! Why not write an entire fanfiction about cheese!"

"I thought you would say that," Author said.

"Hey wait- cut that out, zomg ur so stoopid. ur mean."

"no u r. stop beig so stoopid, mikan."

"zomg u fail."

"zomg u fail moor."

"u fail at writing."

"You fail at spelling."

"gggrrr I cant com up wit a btr combak."

"I know," Author said, because Author wins and Mikan fails.

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

And by now, the "Spinster (Aunt) Dance" was playing, everyone was wearing Tutu's and doing the swan lake. (**A/N: **_**If**_** I even know how the Swan Lake goes!)**Do de de da de da do do, de da diddit do, dedede oah dedah dedah dih do,All right everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the random dance, just hit yourself on the head and rub your belly, c'mon everybody it's the Spinster (Aunt) Dance!

**The end...**

For today, at least...

Writer:

Michiko

**(A/N:Songs may or may not be knock off, I am not saying I wrote the originals, I just tweaked the lyrics.)**

_Spinster (Aunt) Dance:_

Michiko

_I Wanna Do a Theme Song:_

Michiko

The Activities List:

Hotaru & Mikan

Disclaimer for this written by:

Michiko. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the disclaimer!

**I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT IF I DID IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS!**


	5. Day 5: Bringin it back OR Spew, anyone?

**If you can find anything crazier, you're reading something from a better author!**

**The End of Comedy as We Know it!**

**Day five...**

**1. Theme song!**

For the fifth chapter in a row, Mikan woke up. Where she woke up was unspecified. How she woke up was unspecified. If she even had her alarm clock was unspecified. So, with all this stuff being unspecified, you'd think there wouldn't even be a scene, right? As much as I'd love to tell you you're wrong, you're completely right. There was no scene. Since the only thing specified was that Mikan woke up, the only thing there was was an awake Mikan. Around her, there was nothingness. Blank space.

"Author! Hello? Where am I?" Mikan yelled. The only thing that answered back was her echo.

"Mikan, you are stuck in another reality, one where nothing exists because everything was unspecified. In order to come back, you must sing the theme song to prove that you don't belong there and then that world will spit you back into our world's face!" Author yelled back.

"Eeew, it's face?"

"Yes... losing...contact...Mikan....SING! Just kidding, I still have ya' loud and clear. If things were going my way, however, I wouldn't be able to hear you at all."

"You're mean."

"Just do it so you can come back already."

Mikan took a deep breath and sang very loudly, with music and everything all coming out of her high-pitched voicebox,

"I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do

I wanna do a theme song! Song! Do dododo do, do dodo do,

I want to do a **theme song!**

I wanna do a theme song!

Shu-u-t up you say,

Well all I gotta say to you is

I just sai-aid no!

No no no no no

Tell me not to do a theme song,

Well all I gotta say to you When you tell me not to sing a theme song I say no!

No no no no no!"

There was a flash of bright light, and suddenly Mikan was back in her own world again. Back in her specific room. Next to her specified alarm clock, which specifically woke her up.

Author walked in.

"Wow, I just realized, I have never seen you in person before. All I ever heard was your voice from behind a door or out of a ceiling. Oh yeah, how you wrote it certainly made it sound like I met you in person, but there are two rooms. One is the room behind her room, and the other is her room. Ha! Got'cha there, audience! Suckers."

"Yeah, it certainly sounded like it. But I think you would have actually noticed had you met me in person."

"You should really stop making this up as you go along, these plot twists aren't making sense anymore."

"Indeed. Well, I gotta go now, I can't get too involved with the plot, you know? Oh, and Hotaru is in a sour mood today. Just thought you should know that."

Author then walked away with her notepad, probably writing how Hotaru's being in a bad mood would effect Mikan.

"Okay. Wait, how did you know that? Wait! Get back here! Quit making up stuff to make my life more inconvenient!"

All of a sudden, Hotaru slowly popped up behind Mikan. Well, actually, in slow motion, it looks more like she faded in, but that's beside the point.

"Mikan, I am in a bad mood, so I'm forcing Koko to be your friend today," Hotaru said.

Koko walked over to the unspecified place and waved at Mikan.

Hotaru walked away in slow motion. Because it looks cool.

"Oh, crap, not Koko. Please stop reading my mind! Cut that out! Fine, I'll just stop thinking then!" Koko said as he recited Mikan's thoughts.

"Wait," Mikan said as she remembered something, "I haven't seen you since I made you faint! Chapter 2, I believe. Where were you?"

"In the funny farm. It didn't look like a farm at all to me, though. Seems like everybody there was a little nuts, because they all really thought it was a farm! And the other thing is, it wasn't funny at all, either," Koko said.

"Enough stalling, let's do the list already."

**1. Theme song.**

**2. Romantic junk.**

**3. Adventure.**

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

**6. Random crap.**

**7. Comedy.**

**8. More random crap.**

**9. An author check-up.**

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

"Just for the heck of it, I'm gonna give you people a fun fact, by the end of this quote, including 'Mikan said smartly', the word count so far will be 816 and the character count will be 4201," Mikan said smartly.

"Why couldn't I say that?" Koko asked.

"Because you'renotthemaincharacter, duh."

"I am in this chapter!"

"No, because Hotaru was the third main character!"

Then, some words fell on the sky, on top of Mikan and Koko's heads, because those words hated listening to them bicker. And those words said:

**2. Romantic junk.**

Ruka came into this current blank space holding the hand of some girl.

"Who is that?" Mikan asked.

"This? Oh, I don't know her name. I think she is a zombie or something. I can't tell. Either way, she appeas to not have a mind, conscience, will, or even a brain at all. The only thing she can to is walk and breathe," Ruka replied.

"Ooookay then."

"Well, either way, I'm only keeping her until I find my bunny. Or maybe perhaps either a real animal or a stuffed animal. Either will do. I'm not really into humans."  
"I can tell."

"Fufufufu..."

"Who was that?!" Mikan and Ruka said simultaneously.

"Oh, it's just me, I was trying out my evil appearance laugh. I just came to get Ruka," Sumire said.

Ruka noticed the bunny in Sumire's hand and jumped at her for it.

"It's a bunny! Miiiine!" he screamed as he grabbed it out of Sumire's hand.

"Hmph! Fine, I'll just go find Natsume then, I wonder if he'll like the whole theme of...." Sumire said as she walked away until she couldn't be heard anymore.

Mikan watched Sumire walk away into a foggy cloud of the edge of blank space.

"Sooo, what do we do-" Mikan was suddenly interrupted by herself, noticing that, yet again, Ruka was making out with the bunny, just as he had done in Chapter 1 of this very same story.

"Oh, get a room!" Mikan said as she walked into the blank space.

**3. Adventure.**

Mikan continued walking into blank space. It felt like a cloud, or so she thought, she had never been in a cloud, but that's what she thought walking through the foggy edge of blank space felt like.

She walked further, and further, and further still. There was still nothing. She looked up to see that a blue sky was ever so slowly fading in. It appeared to be that it was fading in all around her. She was just wondering what type of world she was walking into when-

"AAAAAAAAH!" Mikan screamed as she hurtled through the air. She had apparently walked right off the edge of blank space and into the sky of another world.

Then she landed on something fuzzy.

"PIYOOOO!"

It was Piyo's head. Piyo was running around in circles frantically.

Mikan looked around to see what might have upset Piyo.

She looked down near Piyo's feet, and hanging on them was Ruka.

"Ruka, get off of Piyo's feet!" she shouted.

"....W...t...?"

She could barely hear Ruka. She had no other choice.

She jumped onto a rope that magically appeared out of the sky and it went longer until it almost touched the ground. Mikan, as she was swinging by, grabbed Ruka by the arm and while they were high in the air... she let go.

"Mikan wtf!!!!??!??!/!?!??!/1/!1/" Ruka yelled.

Mikan had saved Piyo's life.

"Author, how am I gonna get down from here?!"

**4. Beating the crap outta everyone.**

Sumire, Koko, Narumi, Yuri, Iinchou, Hotaru, Misaki, Tsubasa, You-chan, Natsume, Mr. Piggy, and everybody else who wasn't in this so far got mad at Mikan.

"Wait, Koko, you were already in today's episode, Iinchou, you don't like this part anyway, Hotaru, you didn't even want to be in this episode! Somebody help!" Mikan cried.

But, Author didn't think it was funny to have everybody gang up on Mikan, so she turned everyone against each other.

Koko and Hotaru turned on each other, Hotaru armed with her trusty baka gun, Koko knowing exactly how to dodge. They were evenly matched, because everybody would be evenly matched against Koko. Except Mikan, because Mikan can nullify his powers and blah blah blah...

Anyway, Misaki got mad at Tsubasa for letting the people in white coats take her to the funny farm and then not noticing her cameo last chapter, Narumi turned on You-chan, because You-chan is cuter and younger than he is, Natsume turned on Sumire for being so mean to Mikan just now, and Sumire on Natsume for the same reason, and Mr. Piggy got mad at Mikan because... well, I don't know why, actually, I can't read pigs' faces.

Somewhere, in one of these fights, somebody was spewing blood. This distracted Mr. Piggy because he just _had _to roll around in it. Sumire lost her ear this time, and you could tell because it was a cat ear. And I'm pretty sure I just saw Narumi's left pinkie toe.

Anyway, after the first couple of casualties, everybody got tired and went home.

**5. Commercial break, so that everyone can do their least favorite thing: Yoga!**

Do you want to grow hippopotami, but you don't want to have to climb those ladders to get up there to water them? Or maybe you want to grow Mikans, so that you can have Mikan hearts and heads of Mikan for your dinner? Whatever you wanna grow, now you can have your very own Garden-ina-box!

You simply twist the top off, then the box explodes all over your yard, leaving it's colorful guts of flowers, fruits, and vegetables all over the place! It truly is a wonderful sight to see! And since all the fruits, vegetables, and flowers in Garden-ina-box are not edible, you can give them to your enemies, that dog that keep defecating on your lawn, or some random person you see around that just doesn't look like a nice guy.

Woman: "Here you go, I made this just for you! Eat up!"

Man: "Thanks, honey! Yumm- hagulforhumberger!"

Woman: "There, now that I've gotten rid of him-"

Cop: "Put your hands in the air! Who did this to that man?!"

Woman: "It was Garden-ina-box! (thumbs up, smiles)"

Cop: "Oh, well then, you're innocent!"

Woman: "Yaaay, Garden-ina-box!"

Cop: "Yes, indeed, yay, Garden-ina-box!"

**(A/N: I do not support **_**Garden-ina-box **_**in any way!)**

**6. Random crap.**

"Attempt 247 at stealing Natsume's heart!" Sumire said.

Sumire watched from behing a wall as Natsume walked past her backstage.

"Here I go... Naaastumeeee!"

Natsume could only stare at what stood before him.

"P-p-p-p..."

"Yes, I see, you love it, don't you?"

"P-p-p-p..."

"Yes, because nobody can look at this outfit and not go mad over how cute it is!"

"P..."

"That's right..."

"P..." Natusme began.

"anda suit!" Sumire finished for him.

It was a big, lumpy, fluffy panda suit.

"Man, this thing is itch-"

Natsume screamed and ran.

"Huh?" Sumire tilted her head and one of those big question marks popped up over her head like you see in all the new animes these days.

**7. Comedy.**

"Welcome to... _The Crappiest act ever with Tsubasa Ando and Misaki Harada!_" announced a voice from the ceiling.

"H-" Tsubasa started, but was interrupted by a smiling Misaki who was saying, "HI WELCOME TO MY NEW SHOW!!!11!!!1"

Tsubasa tried to talk again, "H-" "THIS IS TSUBASA BUT HE DOESN'T MATTER AS MUCH AS ME, RIGHT?!?!?!/1/1"

Tsubasa, again, tried to talk, "M-" "ANYWAY HOW ARE YOU TSUBASA?!"

"LEMME TALK ALREADY!" Tsubasa shouted, tired of being interrupted.

Misaki twitched, and out of nowhere, she pulled out a purse full of rocks.

"DONT' YOU EVER INTTERUPT ME YOU JERK I WAS TALKING YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK, AND WHY DOESN'T MY NAME COME FIRST YET YOU LIED TO ME!!!" Misaki screamed.

"Gack- this- is to- tally- OOC- cut it- ow! Out!"

"DON'T CALL IT OOC CALL IT OUT OF CHARACTER PEOPLE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING WHEN YOU DO THAT NOW I AM GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT FO YOU JUST BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!!!!1!!11"

"See that one over there?" Author asked.

"Yeah, we see her. Should we poke her with the needle first or try to drag her off of him?" asked one of the men in white suits.

"Hmm... I'd say, needle first. I don't want you guys to get injured. Then I'd have to pay more. If you guys have to pull an anesthetized Misaki off of Tsubasa, it doesn't matter as much because he's a volunteer."

"Got it."

One of the men started creeping up on Misaki attacking Tsubasa, while she was screaming, "AND THEN YOU HAD THE NERVE TO GO AND MESS EVERYTHING UP!!!!111~! AND ThEn... YoU... WenT... and... sleepy..." Misaki fell asleep right there.

Her hands were clenched very tightly around Tsubasa's neck, and he couldn't breathe very well, but the men in white suits got her weak point right in the gap between your thimb and your pinkie finger. Don't ask how that makes sense, please.

Tsubasa, who was unable to breathe, wasn't used to breathing anymore, and he passed out.

Author walked over and put a $5 bill on him and said, "You really deserve this."

**8. More random crap.**

"Hello, I'm Author, and I need to ask a favor of you people, my dear viewers/readers to do me favor. Please, please, _please _donate to the 'Give Sumire Better Outfits' foundation. Sumire really needs it. She's going flat broke from all the clothes she's buying to impress Natsume. If you believe she should at least have a chance at looking decent, then you should donate.

The minimum donations are: $1, $5, and $1000.

And thank you, for donating to the best cause of all. Helping Sumire look decent."

**9. An author check-up.**

As Author walked back into her bedroom from a hard day of being nice and asking other people to be nice, she opened her locked bedroom door. You know, the one Author and Mikan said was the one that was inside the room that was in the backstage hallway? Yeah. That one.

"Gack/wtflip/holy rutabaga/Hotaru's panties?! Wait, why was one of the options Hotaru's panties? Whatever. Mikan what the hell are you doing in my room?!"

"Don't ask how I got in here, you don't wanna know. Anyway, how are you doing?"

As you can guess, the look on Author's face was shocked. Or shocking. Or whatever.

"F-fine? Could you have possibly waited for me instead of breaking into my room?"

"Nope."

"Okay then."

"What's going to happen next episode?!" Mikan asked eagerly.

"I don't know yet, I write it as I go along."

"No wonder there's so many plot holes!"

"Yeah, but is that really a bad thing? It's only a crackfic, after all."

"No wonder everyone's so OOC."

"What?"

"Out of character."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Forget it."

"Fine. I will."

"Wanna spew some really long and random dialogue?!" Author asked.

"Get a life."

"Oh. I see how it is. Well, then, I'll go spew somewhere _else_."

"Fine, I don't want your spew all over me anyway!"

"Fine, I don't_ wanna _spew all over you!"  
"I never said you _did _wanna spew on me!"

"I never said you _didn't_ want me to spew on you! And whatever I say, goes. I'm the Author, after all."

"Fine, I'm _through_! End this portion already!"

"_Fine_! Wait, I don't wanna end it if you want it ended!"

"_Fine_, then I don't want it ended, let it go on forever!"

"_Fine_, I'll just end it then!"

"Go ahead!"

"I will!"

"Then do it already!"

**10. Good bye, suckas!**

"I already did! Wait- where did Mikan go? Oh yeah, when I end one portion, I have to go on to the other. Whatever." Author walked away off stage.

Suddenly the "Spinster (Aunt) Dance" started playing, everyone was wearing Tutu's and doing the swan lake.

Do de de da de da do do, de da diddit do, dedede dah dedah dedah dih do,

All right everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the random dance,

Just hit yourself on the head and rub your belly,

C'mon everybody it's the Spinster (Aunt) Dance!

**The end...**

For today, at least...

Author:

Author

**(A/N:Songs may or may not be knock off, I am not saying I wrote the originals, I just tweaked the lyrics.)**

_Spinster (Aunt) Dance:_

Author

_I Wanna Do a Theme Song:_

Author

The Activities List:

Mikan & Koko

Disclaimer for this written by:

Author

I'm through forgetting the disclaimer. Here it is.

**I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT IF I DID IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THIS!**

**11. After-story notes**

"What I love about this story is that I can express what I feel through actual dialogue, rather than Author's Notes. I didn't even realize this until last chapte, but hey, it doesn't even have a real storyline. Also. Mikan, you're meaner!" Author said.

"You're meaner!" Mikan said.

"You're a meanie meaner mean!"

"Oh, forget it, this is childish."

And then Hotaru was all like, not there.

"Ha, faked you guys out AGAIN!"

Then Author did a really embarrassing breakdancing move.

"I'm done with this," Mikan said, then she put her face really close to the camera, and had her hand on the switch and said, "Bye, people. Sheesh, why do you people even read this fic?" Then she shut the camera off.


End file.
